Giano: Viewing the world

There it was, Championship Round, The Finals. Our team was pegged up, we were doing Opening Opposition.

No I wasn’t nervous, nor was I shrieked. I was excited, too excited, my
mind was racing all over, my speeches were marking across every corner
of my mind.

what line to deliver, what statement to conclude, what argument to dish out,

I waited, so anxious I slipped my pen each time tried to get it out of my right pocket.

"I think I’ll pee… the round hasn’t started yet"

and so I went across the nearest restroom of the grandiose banquet hall
of the tournament, like we sort of do a lot of time, debaters pee ever
so often before debates.

no matter how many times you’ve debated, a finals round always feels
like the first time, or maybe this is just because I’ve been to so few,
three actually…

and so left unnoticed I went to the back, relieved a little bit of stress as my momentum was building up…

as I washing my hands and as I glanced upon the mirror wall, I paused, looked at a reflection,

"am I ready? can this be the time for me?"

I’m in quest to be part of that Hall, in someways I’ve already gained
respect from my peers, although I’ve never really actually credited
myself that much, I tend to downplay the fact that I still do not have
a belt under me…

"is this really important?"

well people do crazy things, I guess if it really doesn’t matter, I’m
sure agonizing myself of this ordeal, but I cant help but realize that
this is as painlessly stupid as it could get…

and then a smile…

"I’m ready, its time, its my time"

and so I walked passed the hall, oblivious of the crowd that I passed
by, I was to focused, If a train hit me that time, I wouldn’t have felt
a single pain.

my mind pierced across the room, It was time for greatness, Seven
People poised to do the same, But I have to be the one that rises.

and then…

"We Now Invite the Member of Government to start the debate for the closing half"

my mind shook, whats this… thats like, it means, my turn has already passed.

greatness slipped, moment unnoticed,

I missed a chance?

But How?

"Its not possible, you cant start a debate with one person missing"

I tracked to the stage, asked my partner what had happened, I was about to pop his head…

"we started without You…" he replied

the room suddenly felt small…

my focus turned to anguish, this had meant something to me…

logic went up on me.. "this can’t be possible, how could you skip a position?"

all teams agreed, it seems as if I went to the restroom far too long than the usual.

"HOW?" this is like the first of many firsts, skipping a position, letting a team debate incompletely,

we’d surely lose, and I already missed my chance…

I cussed suddenly, unaware of the event, I went into a rage inside, my
mind went spiral, I was thinking of damaging chairs, tables, people.

this meant something… "why couldn’t they have waited… why?"

- then I heard a sound, it was beeping-

a bomb? my chance… it could rid me of this horrid event, erase this sloped memory,

keep me for what I was, and just borrow on the what ifs and maybes of my career.

-the beeping started to get louder-

"what is it?"

-the sound went pass my ear, it was louder, too loud, it became annoying, -

"what?"

I closed my eyes, covered my ears, I lost all focus, all consciousness of the people around me…

I just wanted to be a champion…

-then  I opened them-

I saw a ceiling, I was laying down..
maybe I lost consciousness…

"Is it over?" inside I shook..

-the ceiling was familiar-

this Isn’t the banquet…

-looked around-

*sigh* what a terribly sweet dream…

I NEED TO BE A CHAMPION…
I WANT TO BE A CHAMPION…
I WILL BE…

-days away, I’m preparing for this turn-